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| I honestly don't know what the fuck is wrong with me! Seth's been having problems, well was having problems. And I was there for him... and I fixed it. Like I ALWAYS do when he needs someone. NOW he's telling me he loves me again.
Him: "Why aren't we together?"
Me: ".... I don't know."
Him: "Well we need to be."
I mean seriously WTF. I know how this story goes. I know how this ends. But still... I'm there. Hoping. Believing. I'm torturing myself because I still have hope. I still believe he can be the one. My only one. My home. Maybe I'm just a fucking fool. No. I know I'm a fucking fool. But it's him. and I'm me. And I'm going let him keep coming back time and time again no matter how much it hurts in between... and that kills me inside. That I don't have enough strangth to just LET HIM GO. Oh well. We'll see where this goes. We haven't had the "serious" talk so it's probably going to turn into nothing, and we'll just stay friends. But, We'll see.
Sorry for the rant. I just hate using my personal to write about him because I hate that he could read it. He doesn't know about this site, and most of you have been here since the begining and have read all about him and me. Your input would be GREATLY apperciated.
[1]
When you whisper in my ear
I’m alive
[2]
Cause I've seen your sadness grow
and it swallows these days
until it hurts to breathe.
[3]
You're the monster underneath
Lost of all faith
Feeding off my dreams
Where I thought I was safe
[4]
So here's to the people forever loved
who make our hearts want to scream
[5]
You cannot protect yourself
from sadness without protecting yourself
from happiness.
[6]
summer's gone, and I am waiting for
new beginnings with better endings
long nights for the sleep deprived
friends fading while falling in love
i'll write these letters to you
from a desk in my room that's bleeding truth
[7]
I've gone through seasons waiting for you
with nothing changing but the weather.
[8]
And I wonder when I sing along with you,
If everything could ever feel this real forever,
If anything could ever be this good again.
[9]
but the truth is plain to see
she was sent to rescue me
[10]
You called me after midnight,
must have been three years since we last spoke.
I slowly tried to bring back,
the image of your face from the memories so old.
I tried so hard to follow,
but didn't catch the half of what had gone wrong,
said "I don't know what I can save you from."
[11]
There's always something left if two people really loved each other
[12]
Sometimes when I let my mind run free...
it never fails, it goes right to you,
and a smile takes a hold of me.
[13]
I'm ready to let go, move on, be
happy, but there's always this little
shred of "Well, maybe he'll want me
tomorrow." You know what I mean.
| | |
| I just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy Halloween.
Today's my birthday!!!
the big 20!
:)
XoXo
Lyss!
♥
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| Seth and I are through. And strangely, I'm alright with it. I'm still in love with him. I'll always be in love with him. But I don't long for him. I can't remember the last time we had a real conversation, and I think it's just time I admit to it. There's no going back. He's not the same person I fell in love with almost 4 years ago. He's never going to be, and I hate that. I miss the old him. The Seth I knew. This new one... just doesn't feel right. I miss him though. A lot.
My birthday is in 12 days. Wish List!!!!!! ^^Click^^
[1]
I asked, "How long will you love me?"
He said, "Until you finish counting the stars."
[2]
Because street lights and stop signs
are all that distance means.
Freeways and free days are heaven to me.
[3]
Yes, terrible things happen,
but sometimes, those terrible things, they save you.
Even if it's killing you inside, you need to stick it out. Hold your head high. Breath.
[4]
I wish I had shown you all the
things that I was on the inside
[5]
And as the summers ending,
the cold air will rush your hard heart away.
You were so condescending and this is all that's left.
[6]
Somewhere past the interstate,
the yellow lines and glowing moon,
you lie still in your bed.
My heart is stretched for miles and miles.
[7]
You’re the guy of my dreams,
but I, I think I’m finally waking up.
[8]
Don’t you dare tell me nothing matters. Everything matters.
Every fucking drop of rain, every ray of sunlight,
every wisp of cloud matters
and they matter because I can see them
and if I can see them then they can see me
and I know that there’s an entire world
that cares out there, hiding behind a world that doesn’t,
afraid to show who it really is and with or without you,
I will drag that world out of the dirt
and the blood and the muck until we live in it.
Until we all live in it.
[9]
so it's the laughter,
we'll remember, whenever we
remember the way we were.
[10]
It's different when you're lonely, the whole world's in love.
[11]
Why do we do that? Not experience what we can when we can? We're sitting there, within thirty yards or thirty feet or thirty inches of incredible, beautiful, natural treasures, and we just sit dumbly in a car. Look out at stuff like we're watching a movie.
[12]
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
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| Am I getting better at this? lol
I've been obsessed with "Don't stop believein'" by Journey. and "Wish you were here" By Pink Floyd.
I'm always listening to them lately. Weird. My birthday is on Halloween! the 20's start. I'm kinda bummed I still wanna be a teenager. And, It's going to suck because Mel's not here. It's not going to be the same, I don't know how I'll make it though. :/
[1]
Even when you're not sure where you're headed,
it helps to know you're not going there alone.
No one has all the answers,
and sometimes the best thing to do is just apologize
and let the past be the past.
Other times we need to look to the future
and know that even when we think we've seen it all,
life can still surprise us,
and we can still surprise ourselves.
- Gossip Girl
[2]
Rock bottom is good solid ground,
and a dead end street is just a place to turn around
[3]
And we'd lay there in the darkness
like the dream of you I had.
[4]
What if you could go back in time, and take all those
hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?
[5]
if only you knew what I could do for you,
I could be the starlight in your eyes.
[6]
he pulls me through the storm, when I can't go on
[7]
I wish I could tell him,
just to make him see
"stop the hurting sweetheart,
you look down on everything"
his eyes are so weary and my heart is so vibrant
"can't you see, why don't you see?
I'm standing here, you'll always have me"
[8]
Our hearts wont stretch that far
[9]
There are other things we have to find
before we find each other.
[10]
Those words seemed so sincere
And I’ve been so lonely here
[11]
And sometimes your heart takes you to places
that can never lead to a happy ending.
[12]
trusting you when you're drunk
and trusting you when you're sober
are two completely different issues
i hate who you become
when the whisky hits you
Number 12 is my favorite. By far.
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| So, I'm in Paris, France right now (for work.) Sitting in my hotel room eating the most amazing breakfast EVER and it's 9am and I'm jet lagged as fuck. So, I thought I'd do a short update while I'm eating my amazing food ;)
^^ That's my breakfast. French Crepes. :)
[1]
I miss you, I do. I love you.
Everyday I wake up and have this ache in my chest.
And sometimes, I just sleep in because I know
when I wake up, you're not gonna be there.
[2]
It's like I'm secretly broken,
without the broken feeling.
There's just something in me that I know
is misplaced, but I don't know what it is.
[3]
Understand this, okay?
I absolutely, positively cannot be the only person
falling head over heels in love in this relationship.
It's got to be mutual.
[4]
The darker the secret,
the harder you keep it
[5]
You continuously ruin my life
and I continuously let you.
[6]
I like to pretend that everything’s all right,
because when everybody else thinks you’re fine,
sometimes you forget for a while that you’re not.
[7]
i love you. not maybe,
not tomorrow, not someday,
right now. at this very moment.
i realized something. i need you,
i trust you, i admire you. i want
you. and you can be wrong a lot
of the time, and we can fight,and
get mad at each other, but nothing,
nothing in this world can change
the fact that i love you.
[8]
"we say goodbye but never let go."
I got the pictures from an old friend of mine-- shattered_dreams_28 Check her out. :)
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